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Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Frank Zappa: Muffin Man




The Muffin Man is seated at the table
In the laboratory of the Utility Muffin
Research Kitchen . . .
Reaching for an oversized chrome spoon
He gathers an intimate quantity of dried muffin remnants
And brushing his scapular aside
Proceeds to dump these inside of his shirt. . .
He turns to us and speaks:


Some people like cupcakes better. I for one
Care less for them!

Arrogantly twisting the sterile canvas snoot
of a fully charged icing anointment utensil
He pools forth a quarter-ounce green rosette (oh ah yuk yuk.
let's try that again . . .!)
He pools forth a quarter-ounce green rosette
Near the summit of a dense but radiant muffin
of his own design.
Later he says:


Some people . . . some people like cupcakes exclusively,
While I myself say there is naught nor ought there be
Nothing so exalted on the face of God's gray earth
As that prince of foods . . . The Muffin!

Girl you thought he was a man
But he was a muffin
He hung around till you found
That he didn't know nuthin'
Girl you thought he was a man
But he only was a-puffin'
No cries is heard in the night
As a result of him stuffin'


(Frank Zappa)

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