Zakariyyā Tāmir: Two Prisoners

Zakariyyā Tāmir
(The Levant Notebook)
no copyright infringement intended

Browsing again Tablet and Pen, the anthology of Mid-East contemporary literature edited by Reza Aslan, again opening pages at random, coming this time upon Zakariyyā Tāmir, a Syrian master of the short-story. Looking at his photo, it reminds me of an old time friend, a classmate from high school. I haven't seen him for ages. So it goes. Here is Tāmir's Two Prisoners, rendered into English by Roger Allen.

Two old men were walking along a city pavement at a deliberate pace and talking morosely:
- This is the end of time.
- Things are going from bad to worse.
- It's time to write a petition.
- Which  petition?
- The one we must forward to God Almighty.
- What will we write in the petition?
- We'll write as follows, We the undersigned request of the Lord of Creation that he send us an army of angels well trained and equipped with the most up-to-date weapons to take up positions on the frontiers and fight the enemy and not treat us as prisoners.
- And what will we do in the event that the petition is not put into effect?
- Forward yet another petition asking God to agree to our being excused to five daily prayers.
- And if He doesn't agree?
- Oh. He will and He'll let us off the fast too. He is pitying and merciful.


Let's try a Romanian translation:
Doi bătrâni plimbându-se pe stradă şi vorbindu-şi unul altuia:
- E sfârşitul lumii!
- Ha? Ah, da, merge din rău în mai rău!
- Păi e vremea să facem o petiţie!
- Ha? Ce petiţie?
- Una pe care să o adresăm lui Dumnezeu Atotputernicul: Vă solicităm prin prezenta să trimiteţi de urgenţă o oştire de ingeri bine antrenaţi şi echipaţi cu armamentul cel mai modern, care să facă ordine pe aici fără să ne trateze şi pe noi ca elemente combatante ostile.
- Ha? Şi ce-o să facem daca nu se intâmplă nimic?
_ Păi atunci îi trimitem o alta petiţie solicitând să fim scutiţi de obligativitatea celor cinci tugăciuni zilnice.
- Ha? Şi crezi ca o sa fie de acord cu asta?
- Absolut, şi o să ne scutească şi de obligativitatea postului, pentru că El este Atotmilostiv si Atoateîntelegator.


(Reza Aslan)